This post is dedicated for some home makers who suffer mentally. Here is a common story of some home makers :
I am a home maker. I have two daughters, they are in class 7 & 5. My husband is a private employee. I got married 15 years ago. I have covered half of my life.
Before marriage, I was staying with my parents. My own family is a nuclear family. I have four sisters and two brothers. Though it is nuclear family, I never feel bored or irritating in any household works. My mother used to ask me for help. Sometimes I had done, sometimes I hadn’t. It was completely my choice. Though the family was big, I used to feel myself as a princess. Like this way, I had grown up. Like others, I had also some ambitions to do job. I had completed the master degree in Geography. I had done teaching job in a private school for two years before my marriage.
Everything got changed after my marriage. I had to leave my job, as I had to move with my husband in some other state. A new home, a new place with a lovely person with whom I had to spare entire life. I was feeling too good that time. I think- I was feeling too good, because he was making me to feel good and vice-versa. We were new to each other. Daily I was waiting when he would come and talked to me. He too was waiting for that. Within 5-6 years, I became mother of two kids. Then I became very busy in caring of my daughters. I forgot to think about myself. Still, before going to bed at night, I hoped for my husband to talk with me and to take the news of me for the entire day. Sometimes, he fulfilled this, sometimes not.
Oneday, I noticed the changes in my life. My daughters have grown up. They are busy at their schools till 2 pm. My husband is in higher position. So responsibility in his office is huge. Sometimes, he used to go to his office during weekends also due to tremendous work pressure. I have to get up at 5 am in the morning to clean the rooms, to cook for my husband and kids. I give them breakfast and pack their lunch/tiffin. Daily 5am to 8 am, I feel that I am running at light speed. From 8am to 12 am I have to do other works-shopping, washing the clothes, dusting the furniture, ironing their dresses,making some items for dinner as at night I don’t get time, I have to teach them all the subjects. I have no home-maid. I have no assistant. I have no tutors for my kids. From 12 to 1.30 pm, I take bath, eat some foods, take few minutes rest. I become prepared at 1.30 to take my kids from pool car. Then again, become busy in looking after them. My husband used to come back home after 8 pm at night.
This hectic schedule, I can enjoy easily if I can spare some time with my husband. But he becomes so busy that he has no time for that. If I tell that I want to spare some time with you, he becomes annoyed, he becomes angry. When I started to do tutions for refreshing myself, my kids were telling – “Mummy, you can’t do tution. See, for you, I couldn’t be able to get high marks in the examinations. You please stop doing tutions”. So, I stopped tution. My husband gives me enough money required for shopping. Sometimes it becomes excess.
But can money remove lonliness? Can money pay happiness, pleasure? What will I do by taking extra money? To spend this extra money, I need good mood, I need good time, I need good company which I don’t have. Sometimes, I feel that I have taken birth to become a family-maid. I feel suffocated. No one understands me. I often disturb my old father sharing our personal problems. Sometimes, I feel giving divorce and leave this house. But when I look at my kids, I can’t take that step. Sometimes, I regret why have I married? My father advices me so many things. But, truly speaking it doesn’t work because I need my husband’s company. I will be happy if I can see him, passing sometime with me.
My Father’s Advice :
Never underestimate yourself. When you will declare or you will put a question to them – ‘am I maid for you all?’, they will take you as granted. Handle the situation in a smart way. Treat yourself as a queen of the house. Balance three members are dependent on you. Treat them as helpless. you will feel good then.
Remain updated in education, studies so that after few years, when your kids will say -” We can study ourselves, we don’t need you in helping our studies” ,you can start tutions when they will be out of house. At present, sometimes go for movies. The family members who can’t join with you, who can’t help you in refreshing, why do you wait for them? Buy new plants, plant it in your balcony. Write some blogs or write in your diary.
Nobody will understand your pain, until unless you understand your pain. Nobody will respect you, until unless you respect yourself. Beautify yourself. Always maintain a fit outlook. Study lot of story books.
You do all your works whetever you are doing. Except that, during cooking, during teaching you keep one story book with you. Sometimes you read it while teaching your kids. Show them that you are also busy. They should give value to your time also. When they will call you for serving the food, you reply this way – “just one page is pending. Let me finish this page, I am coming for serving your food.”Make them feel that your personal work is also important.
My father advices me so many things. Still, I am feeling depressed. My sister suggested me to do” work from home” jobs. But, nothing is happening. I am getting depressed and feeling like I will leave this house and will stay in my native place. My old father is getting tensed as he may face monetary problems if I start living with him along with my kids.
What can you advice for me? Please comment so that I can help myself.
N. B–Hello, my dear friends – this story is not about me. It is a story of a girl about whom I have heard from my friend.
Thank you for reading. Let us make a beautiful world together. God bless.